Achieving Change
If you have some minor aspects you would like to change or you are simply into ‘self improvement’, there is a range of new age and psychology literature that is readily available. If you have something a lot deeper that is impacting on
your ability to live a fulfilling life, you may benefit from professional help. There is a range of treatment modalities, all of which can be successful to the extent that they access the subconscious mind (either directly or indirectly) and ‘rewire’ or ‘re-programme’ your brain. The plasticity of the brain enables that to be done – anything learned (and that applies to anything
that is the result of experience or habit) is amenable to change. New neural pathways can be created and reinforced, while old habitual pathways can be deleted or allowed to fall into disuse (like a bush track becomes overgrown and lost when it falls into disuse).
Reminder:
Identifying childhood developmental influences is aimed at facilitating the search for awareness and understanding of ‘self’ as the product of childhood experiences. It is not a witch hunt to provide justification to blame parents and absolve adult offspring of responsibility for ‘their stuff’. After all, for the most part, their parents were caring and well-intentioned, and they ‘did the best they knew how’.
However, having said that looking to blame the parents for the ‘stuff’ adult offspring carry around is not the goal, this does not provide an excuse for current parents to absolve themselves of their responsibilities to provide nurturance, protection and guidance for their children. Creditable parenting information is available. However, even well-intentioned parents are at risk of making mistakes because of being misled by so-called ‘authorities’. Prevailing social experiments in parenting that are driven by ideology, social policy, politics and the economy – whilst ignoring child developmental emotional needs - are contributing to poor self worth, self esteem and emotional wellbeing and unresolved anger, which in turn, has contributed to social problems such as violence and dependence on drugs and alcohol.
http://www.selfesteemparenting.com.au provides
parenting information that is based on child developmental emotional needs, derived from clinical experience, rather than any theoretical or ideological perspectives.
How to achieve therapeutic change:
Keys to successfully achieving therapeutic change include: (i) genuinely wanting change, (ii) accepting responsibility for what needs changing and (iii) accepting responsibility for achieving the desired goal of positive change. The importance of accepting responsibility is that it is empowering, whereas blaming others is disempowering, thereby lessening likelihood of achieving any desired changes. Hanging on to victim
status is very disempowering and presents a major obstacle to ‘moving on’, regardless of what treatment modality is utilised. While it is true that as children we are not actually responsible for how we are treated by our parents, we are responsible for the consequences in terms of our feelings and any subsequent dysfunctional stuff that impacts negatively on our life and has become problematic in some way for us as adults. And that is the good news, because there is absolutely nothing that therapy can do about other people – the only aspect that can be changed is what goes on in our own heads via the ‘wiring’ in our brain. This wiring or programming represents our subjective experience of past events which includes the original emotional reactions, subsequent feelings, perceptions, beliefs, attitudes, behaviours and any impact on our life.
The ultimate goal of any therapeutic approach is to achieve (or reclaim) self empowerment and a sense
of control in life and this requires an individual to be a psychologically active participant in the change process. Change won’t happen as a result of wishful thinking. Therapists do not have a magic wand that will eliminate the need for the client to make an effort. Taking a pill requires no effort, but then taking a pill can only provide temporary relief for aversive feelings and mood states. There is no ‘quick fix’ when seeking real change.
Being a Clinical Hypnotherapist, my preference is direct access to the subconscious mind. Given the fit of ego state theory being a complementary vehicle for my CAARP-ALIAS model of child emotional development, my preferred modality is working with ego states. Since these ego states exist in the present, they can be contacted directly, while the client is in hypnosis.
In pursuit of the goal for my clients to achieve self empowerment, my therapeutic approach is treating the person, not just the current problem. That requires addressing vulnerability factors that often underlie current problems. This means targeting them at their origin, in childhood, and engaging in some cognitive and emotional restructuring of the psychological foundations. That involves changing the subjective experience of the client by use of techniques such as ‘reframe’ and ‘re-parenting’ to redress the subliminal messages received from parents. Given that the commonality I found with clients is some degree of low Self Worth, this restructuring is also aimed at improving Self Worth.
However, whatever modality you choose to achieve change, the same principles of participation apply: accept responsibility, make a decision to ’do something’, choose a modality, make a commitment, give it your
best effort and have faith in your ability to achieve your goal.
If you are reading this as a parent:
How to ensure your children have positive emotional wellbeing and a healthy sense of self:
Are you meeting your children’s innate needs for feeling Attachment, feeling Loved, feeling Important, feeling
Accepted and Acknowledged and feeling Safe? Are you meeting your innate responsibilities to engage in Connection, Affection, Attention, Recognition and Protection or do you have other priorities? Be aware of the subliminal messages you are sending that are implicit in what you say and do or don’t say and don’t do. Be aware that an image being projected by a child which says, “I’m ok”, might actually be a mask concealing feelings that say, “I’m not ok – I don’t feel valued, I am not important to you” or even, “I am angry - but I am afraid to tell you”. How would you know? Be aware of the subliminal messages you are sending ........
If you are interested in what I mean by subliminal messages that parents send and how they impact on emotional development of children, check out the CAARP-ALIAS model of development of Self Worth:
http://www.selfestemparenting.com.au
your ability to live a fulfilling life, you may benefit from professional help. There is a range of treatment modalities, all of which can be successful to the extent that they access the subconscious mind (either directly or indirectly) and ‘rewire’ or ‘re-programme’ your brain. The plasticity of the brain enables that to be done – anything learned (and that applies to anything
that is the result of experience or habit) is amenable to change. New neural pathways can be created and reinforced, while old habitual pathways can be deleted or allowed to fall into disuse (like a bush track becomes overgrown and lost when it falls into disuse).
Reminder:
Identifying childhood developmental influences is aimed at facilitating the search for awareness and understanding of ‘self’ as the product of childhood experiences. It is not a witch hunt to provide justification to blame parents and absolve adult offspring of responsibility for ‘their stuff’. After all, for the most part, their parents were caring and well-intentioned, and they ‘did the best they knew how’.
However, having said that looking to blame the parents for the ‘stuff’ adult offspring carry around is not the goal, this does not provide an excuse for current parents to absolve themselves of their responsibilities to provide nurturance, protection and guidance for their children. Creditable parenting information is available. However, even well-intentioned parents are at risk of making mistakes because of being misled by so-called ‘authorities’. Prevailing social experiments in parenting that are driven by ideology, social policy, politics and the economy – whilst ignoring child developmental emotional needs - are contributing to poor self worth, self esteem and emotional wellbeing and unresolved anger, which in turn, has contributed to social problems such as violence and dependence on drugs and alcohol.
http://www.selfesteemparenting.com.au provides
parenting information that is based on child developmental emotional needs, derived from clinical experience, rather than any theoretical or ideological perspectives.
How to achieve therapeutic change:
Keys to successfully achieving therapeutic change include: (i) genuinely wanting change, (ii) accepting responsibility for what needs changing and (iii) accepting responsibility for achieving the desired goal of positive change. The importance of accepting responsibility is that it is empowering, whereas blaming others is disempowering, thereby lessening likelihood of achieving any desired changes. Hanging on to victim
status is very disempowering and presents a major obstacle to ‘moving on’, regardless of what treatment modality is utilised. While it is true that as children we are not actually responsible for how we are treated by our parents, we are responsible for the consequences in terms of our feelings and any subsequent dysfunctional stuff that impacts negatively on our life and has become problematic in some way for us as adults. And that is the good news, because there is absolutely nothing that therapy can do about other people – the only aspect that can be changed is what goes on in our own heads via the ‘wiring’ in our brain. This wiring or programming represents our subjective experience of past events which includes the original emotional reactions, subsequent feelings, perceptions, beliefs, attitudes, behaviours and any impact on our life.
The ultimate goal of any therapeutic approach is to achieve (or reclaim) self empowerment and a sense
of control in life and this requires an individual to be a psychologically active participant in the change process. Change won’t happen as a result of wishful thinking. Therapists do not have a magic wand that will eliminate the need for the client to make an effort. Taking a pill requires no effort, but then taking a pill can only provide temporary relief for aversive feelings and mood states. There is no ‘quick fix’ when seeking real change.
Being a Clinical Hypnotherapist, my preference is direct access to the subconscious mind. Given the fit of ego state theory being a complementary vehicle for my CAARP-ALIAS model of child emotional development, my preferred modality is working with ego states. Since these ego states exist in the present, they can be contacted directly, while the client is in hypnosis.
In pursuit of the goal for my clients to achieve self empowerment, my therapeutic approach is treating the person, not just the current problem. That requires addressing vulnerability factors that often underlie current problems. This means targeting them at their origin, in childhood, and engaging in some cognitive and emotional restructuring of the psychological foundations. That involves changing the subjective experience of the client by use of techniques such as ‘reframe’ and ‘re-parenting’ to redress the subliminal messages received from parents. Given that the commonality I found with clients is some degree of low Self Worth, this restructuring is also aimed at improving Self Worth.
However, whatever modality you choose to achieve change, the same principles of participation apply: accept responsibility, make a decision to ’do something’, choose a modality, make a commitment, give it your
best effort and have faith in your ability to achieve your goal.
If you are reading this as a parent:
How to ensure your children have positive emotional wellbeing and a healthy sense of self:
Are you meeting your children’s innate needs for feeling Attachment, feeling Loved, feeling Important, feeling
Accepted and Acknowledged and feeling Safe? Are you meeting your innate responsibilities to engage in Connection, Affection, Attention, Recognition and Protection or do you have other priorities? Be aware of the subliminal messages you are sending that are implicit in what you say and do or don’t say and don’t do. Be aware that an image being projected by a child which says, “I’m ok”, might actually be a mask concealing feelings that say, “I’m not ok – I don’t feel valued, I am not important to you” or even, “I am angry - but I am afraid to tell you”. How would you know? Be aware of the subliminal messages you are sending ........
If you are interested in what I mean by subliminal messages that parents send and how they impact on emotional development of children, check out the CAARP-ALIAS model of development of Self Worth:
http://www.selfestemparenting.com.au